All's well that ends well

The title and the photo gave it away. Yes, things are much better now.

I am now working as junior manager of the wine shop who interviewed me a while ago (I couldn't take the job back then, and now I wish I had). I am really enjoying it.

It is a very small team of nice people. French and Italian. We are all married, all down to earth, all in love with wine and football, which means we do get together to drink wine while watching the world cup matches.

(England, Italy and France are all out, but I am still cheering for Brazil.) 

It is very relaxed, very easy going and even though I am earning less and working more, I feel this is definitely a much better suited position for moi.

We talk about wine with each other and with customers, we cook good Italian or French food and work hard too - but always with pleasure. It is inWimbledon (South London) and since the famous tennis matches are on now, we are quite busy, with lots of famous tennis players, and many Americans and Australians customers- who we always try to convert to French wine drinkers.

As for home, I moved back to mother in law's, with the condition we would look for a place immediately. And we are. Though me and my husband disagree about the budget. The thing is...he is cheap and I am not. But we are trying to compromise. 

Things with him improved anyways and he is definitely trying to be more attentive and negotiate his time at work and have the same days off as I do (in retail we can do that).

In the end - hoping this is the at least temporary end of our problems - everything worked out for the best. I do not regret having left. As a friend of mine says (are you there, Erika?), every husband should feel like they could lose their wife, at any moment.

And mine certainly does now.

I hit a new low

And I really thought things couldn't get worse...

Went to buy a shirt for my by job interview tomorrow. And since everything was so cheap there, decided to also purchase a spring coat (as you should in the windy, rainy english summer). Card declined.

I asked the checkouts girl to just put the shirt through. Card declined again.

Right. I was holding the queue and people were staring at me, so I decided to leave with my head down.

Went to check my balance: 4 pounds. That's all I have until the end of the month. As my only real friend around here is in Spain (she had the ticket booked already and I told her I couldn't go with her, which was wise, I couldn't afford a holiday), I had to call my husband, who didn't even try to call me these past couple of days.

So I will see him today, and I ask for money.

We all should get a lesson from this: If you want to quit everything, just make sure you have enough money to do it.

I quit my job. And I quit my home.

I have been away from this blog for a while. And I am not going to lie, it was not because I was extremely busy with my hectic but exciting life. No. The truth is I have been in great pain lately.

I had the hugest, most dramatic fight with my husband. I cried and yelled and truthfully, I wanted to hurt him. Now I am not going to details about the reasons of the fight. It happens with every couple, doesn't it? But this time, I had enough. I had enough living in that house and that every argument I had with my husband, my mother-in-law  was somehow listening, and then defending her son to me- as he is such a good boy and has the best intentions at heart. No, I wasn't taking that anymore, and since Martin refused to get out of his mother's, I did.

I packed and went to a friend's house in North London. I caught the last train in tears. The pain was so much I wasn't ashamed of crying in front of anyone. I called my sister sobbing, and she told me to stay strong, and do what I believe is right.

It is been almost a week and I have not weakened. Is he sending me texts and e-mails to have me back? Absolutely. Did any of these convince me? Hell no. Texting and e-mailing is too easy. Too easy.

I would never stop him taking me for granted if I gave in immediately. So I am staying strong, as my sister told me to.

Then, as I am now in North London, the commute to the south of Surrey, where I work, wouldn't be doable. It would just be impossible. I might as well work in Paris and the Eurostar will get me there at the same amount of time. So I told work I needed some days off due to unforeseen circumstances. Today they called, putting some pressure on me to return to work. So I quit. I will never return there. It was a relief.

I hear people just taking it, a bad relationship and a bad job. They are miserable but they will not give up. They see it as something grand, fighting for it, sticking to it, taking it until it drains all your energies. People glorify all who refuses to quit, no matter what. That's fine, but I don't. I rather quit.

Am I scared? I am terrified. I can't live at my friend's forever, I have no idea how to fix my precociously problematic marriage, I am scared I will not get a job soon.

But I am not sitting still watching the world cup drinking a beer (although I do that too), I am looking for jobs and have already an interview on Monday.

So here it is (raise glass) for all quitters. If they say everything happens for a reason then we should be fine.