I've cheated on my job

If it wasn't for yesterday, I would be working right now. At a wine shop in Surrey. I would probably be bored out of my mind waiting for a customer to come in (Surrey is not exactly Oxford Street, you know) and would be looking at the bottles, maybe giving them a clean whilst yawning a bit and thinking why didn't I wash my hair this morning - it looks awful. But that didn't happen - because I've cheated on my new job yesterday.

Another company had sent me an e-mail ages ago asking to meet me for an interview Tuesday the 27th at 3:15 pm. They were very specific about the time and date, as they had too many candidates to see in such little time. I almost said "Sod this. I'm not going to get it, why bother?" but decided to, just one day before my new job was supposed to start, that I was going to go for the interview.

It was a bit hard to get there and I would have to pay a black cab (ridiculously expensive) and I almost gave up again on going if my husband didn't kindly mention that I was so "bloody lazy and cheap". So I went.

I wasn't enthusiastic at the interview. I was cold and confident, borderline arrogant. It was still on my mind "I'm not getting this job anyways, and I'm starting another one tomorrow" - perhaps just to protect myself. 

They would ask questions like "How do you feel about getting to know a complete different wine list from your previous jobs?" I answered "Any new job will have a new and different wine list. It has happened before." (And I immediately thought "mmm...that was pretty bitchy"). And when they asked "How do you feel about deadlines?" I simply answered " I used to be a lawyer" and smiled with my mouth closed.

So I left the interview thinking "That was pretty rubbish. Oh well." and one hour later I get a beep from my Blackberry. New e-mail. It was from the interviewers. They said that they really wanted me to join their team. That a snap decision such as that one was unprecedented but they knew I had another job offer (I failed to mention that I had already accepted it though) and they didn't want to lose me for them. They said I was perfect for the role and they did not need to look further. Basically that I'm the one.(smile with mouth open)

I could feel my ego inflating. I felt fantastic. 

I told my husband and mother-in-law who told me I should go to my job starting tomorrow (meaning today) anyways, because they - the new company, a wine importer- hadn't made a formal, proper offer yet. 

Pardon??

No I will not, thankyouverymuch. I will enjoy some extra carefree-self indulging days because I had an offer. And they were desperate for me, they really, really loved me! (shining-teeth grin)

love ridden

Anyone remembers Fiona Apple? I first heard of her in 1997, when I was still a very angry and depressed teenager. She was as almost as young as I was. I loved her. For no particular reason, I started humming one of her songs today and remembered when I was deeply in love with a guy who had just dumped me, and I would lie in bed listening to this song over and over crying myself to sleep. (Told you I used to take myself seriously!). Nevertheless, I still think the song is subtly gorgeous, with the piano and violins, and ohh...the sad lyrics.


Love ridden, I've looked at you
With the focus I gave to my birthday candles
I've wished on the lidded blue flames
Under your brow
And baby, I wished for you
Nobody sees when you are lying in your bed
And I wanna crawl in with you
But I cry instead
I want your warm, but it will only make
Me colder when it's over,
So I can't tonight, baby
No, not "baby" anymore - if I need you
I'll just use your simple name
Only kisses on the cheek from now on
And in a little while, we'll only have to wave
My hand won't hold you down no more
The path is clear to follow through
I stood too long in the way of the door
And now I'm giving up on you...

Beauty and Grace

I finally went to the Victoria and Albert Museum in London to see the Grace Kelly Exhibition. We took a train to posh South Kensington - where the princes go on their rare night outings, and near where Prince William's girlfriend, Kate, lives. It is so cold and gorgeous at the same time, the perfect setting to see Grace.
Of course, we couldn't see the lovely Grace herself, but we did see her famous outfits - made for royal engagements or for films, her famous Hermes' bag and her even more famous Oscar. Wow, I had never seen an Academy award so up close. I remember being a child and thinking that I would definitely grow up to become an Oscar winning actress, wonder how that plan didn't quite progress. Anyways, I digress...back to Grace.
I used to be obsessed with Hitchcock's films, and she was in three of them.  It was said even the master of suspense couldn't resist her, and I became increasingly interested in knowing who this stunning woman was, so read her biography - one of them- and one of my favorite coffee table books was and is  Life: Remembering Grace (Great Photographers Series). She always fascinated me. But I supposed she's fascinating to most women. She always looked perfect. She was born rich, every man she met fell in love with her, she had a short but great career and she married a Prince. But I do imagine that she wasn't truly happy. Not after abandoning a "job" she loved, not moving so far away from friends and family. And missing the Hollywood cocktail parties to attend the ever so formal Royal ceremonies. I guess no one can have everything. But what the hell do I know?
I could google and youtube her and would never know. She gave nothing away. So enigmatic, so sophisticated and so elegant. Her name could only be Grace.

self indulgence

I am terribly self indulgent. I am not ashamed of it, in fact it is one of the things I most like about myself.
I used to be such a depressive-questioning-pessimistic teenager, and I like my adult self much better. I used to take myself very seriously, I would suffer and make sure everyone knew I was suffering. I used to read Byron, Shelley and Wilde. Now I will rarely sit and think about mortality and why life is as Woody Allen says - full of misery, loneliness and pain. Because...really, what is the point?
So when I have a day off with no one around, stuck in the suburbs of England, what do I do? I indulge.
My job hasn't started yet and yesterday I was out all day, so I took this day to do nothing. My husband asked as he always does - almost feeling sorry for me- as he leaves to go to work "So what are you doing today?" I smiled and said "Nothing!". I could see pity in his eyes. "Not even going to the gym?" "No. Nothing."
I was going to a museum in London today with my mother-in-law, but she decided she was going out to play bridge instead, and as my husband works all day and even Figgy the cat decided to go "hunting" in the garden, I am all alone. All-alone (grin).
So I spent a lot of time in the shower. I tried a new hair mask, I exfoliated my skin, I blew dry my perfumed hair slowly whilst reading another Audrey biography (Audrey: Her Real Story), which is actually pre-tty good. I had  welsh cakes with coffee. I massaged my feet and sang "moon river", with Audrey still on my mind.
And the day is not over yet, and I have a nice bottle of New Zealand Pinot Noir downstairs. And 2 books to read. Ignorance is bliss, dreams serve for sweet relieving and life is truly lovely.

oh, i hate you, loren.

sophia...the one and only 50's star alive today who just never seems to age.

update

i've just got a job.
it's not my ideal one.
i don't love the idea of it.
oh the defeat.
it's enough to pay for my diploma in wines though.
meanwhile i'm planning my escape,  my own business.
so i am reading this one now:



i'm such a loser.

Work - and its pleasures?

I am looking for work. As the UK is still recovering from recession, this is not an easy task. Now I am not just looking for work, I am looking for a job that I will love. Now I just must sound plain mad, no? As a friend once said after I had asked him if he was enjoying his job: " It's work, Its' not meant to be enjoyable"
However, I have left Law to work with wines, so for me...yes, it is. It was supposed to be. I would love to mix business with pleasure. Unfortunately, this hasn't been always the case.
I have worked as a Sommelier (for a famous TV Chef, I might add) and that was...torture at its best. 60 hours a week under pressure. Heard a lot of rude, abrupt, unnecessary remarks from Managers and people pretending to be Managers. Swallowed a lot of my pride and tried to forget my anger by treating myself to a bottle of the best Cabernet or Sauvignon after the daily ordeal was over.  
I worked in Retail after that, and that was alright. I had fun with other wine Specialists, we had the wine tasting thing going on quite often. The boss was harmless to our ego and dignity.  It got boring eventually.
Alain de Botton has been one of my favorite writers. Since he published Essays on Love. But sometimes he gets it wrong. He has a new book out: "The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work", on which he quotes "work is one of the most exciting and most painful of our activities". Ok, I agree with painful, but exciting? Speak for yourself, Botton!
One of the most exciting days of my husband's work was when the shop he manages was robbed, mission-impossible style (When no one was there). I remember his eyes sparkling as he imagined the scene of the thieves coming down from the ceiling - probably wearing masks and who knows, maybe a leather catsuit! - and stealing electric showers.
Wow. How can any other day of work top that?
But you know...he is completely contempt with it. 
As for myself, after giving up my childhood dreams of being an actress, a singer or a ballerina- because frankly, I was mediocre in every single one of these forms of art - I am still looking for that job that will leave me enough time to improve my French, finish my wine studies, let me blog, twit, e-mail, facebook etc., travel, read, go to jazz clubs, cinemas, restaurants, do a dance or yoga class, whilst providing the money to do all of that. After all, there's much more to life than work, no?
Another friend once told me "Bless. You're such a dreamer".

1955

Audrey and Grace - Just because I love this photo

Newlywed

As you know, I am a newlywed. Oh joy. I am completely, absolutely, deeply in love with my husband. I really am. Even though he doesn't like wine (or anything alcoholic except if colorful and sweet). Even though he's got an ever-growing belly. Even though he doesn't like reading. And likes to play videogames at the not so tender age of 30. I adore him.
I am not a good wife, I must admit. I am not a good cook, I am too lazy to clean the house (what's the matter of hiring a cleaner anyways?). And not only I'm bad with domestic tasks, I am also jealous. Very jealous. It's not pretty and I'm not proud of it. But I am. Blame it on my childhood or something.
My parents divorced when I was one. My mother remarried and got divorced again. My dad is now deceased. I don't really have a fantastic idea of marriage. I have a realistic one I suppose.
Still I want to work hard at it. I want to be a great wife. No, I won't take any shit from my husband but I still don't want him to be scared of me! (Right?) Though I like that Dustin Hoffman once said that the secret of his 30-year-marriage was that he was very, very scared of his wife. Brilliant.
Sooo...I decided to order this lovely book on the left
I will let you know later how it went. If it gave some great insights about married life and its secrets. Or if I'm just another dumb woman who buys self help books that will tell me what I already know, but never been bothered to do it, and probably will never do it anyways.
So watch this space.

Whatever works

Why am I starting this Blog? And Why whatever works?
I am bored. Moved to Surrey not long ago. Anyone knows Surrey? It is close to London, just not close enough. I moved in with my new husband and my mother-in-law (no, its not so bad as you might think). I have, let's say...a shortage of friends here. And my husband works 12 hours a day.
Whatever works is a film by Woody Allen. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xI73zkuLFV0
I love him, always had always will. And people will say it is not one of his best movies. I find it brilliant.
So this is my first film recommendation. Not that everyone will read this or care about what I have to say. Who am I anyways?
Well, I am female. I'm 29. I love to travel but am shit scared of airplanes. I love cats. And wine. I actually work in the wine Industry - if I can say that. I have a Law Degree but due to extreme boredom I decided to just...leave it. (Those 5 years of University were useful though - for making friends at least). I am extremely interested in people. My mother is a semi-famous psychologist. I read biographies. I specially like to read about 50's movie stars, no idea why. I am an Aquarius, ascendant in Aries, moon in Gemini (You see...My mother was also into Astrology). I am a a bit ADD. I can be very self indulgent. I miss my friends like hell, and my sister. I joined twitter today and thought "I might as well blog"
So there you go...that's all for today, folks. I will write more soon about my extremely exciting life. Count the seconds!
mmmmm...ok, I will stop.